Flirting is ageless and open to everyone! Flirting remains an easy and meaningful way to spark the interest of someone you've just met. Here're some fun tips from Flirting 101 to increase your cute quotient.
How to Be a Good Flirt
- Break the Touch Barrier. It can be as obvious as touching your arm or knee while making a point. It can be as faint as having your knees come into contact under the table.
- Laughter. A big part of flirting involves reactions to the partner. When telling a funny story, it may elicit comments encouraging interest, including asking "really?", saying "wow" and simply opening your mouth in amused disbelief.
- Paying Compliments. Both women and men love to receive compliments. Those that sincerely compliment the physical appearance of the opposite sex, are the ones which imply an immediate attraction.
- Say My Name. When you repeat someone's name, you're subtlety letting her or him know of your willingness to create a closer, more intimate connection.
- Body Language. Have you noticed when you lean in to talk or rest your elbows on the table, your partner does the same? Duplicating actions is a sure fire way of showing you are in-synch with another person.
- Vulnerability. Let's face it - not all of us are smooth and suave. It's important to be yourself, even if it means being klutzy and not saying or doing the right thing at the right time. If you want to see how it works in the movies, rent Warner Bros.' hit "Must Love Dogs" and watch how John Cusack attempts to woo the beautiful Diane Lane!
Fun Flirty Factoids
- Flirting is good for you! Scientists have determined people who flirt benefit from a higher white blood count, which boosts your immune system and keeps you healthy.
- Modern Flirting Involves Technology. A recent Pew Research Study shows 40% of the tech savvy adults flirt via e-mail or instant messaging. They also routinely send sweet and sexy text messages by cell phone.
- Make No Mistake. Research has shown men tend to routinely mistake friendly behavior for flirting. Both sexes make the mistake of engaging in too much eye contact to the point of staring.
- Know the Signs. Scientists have identified 52 flirting signals between women and men. These include breaking the touch barrier, paying compliments, duplicate body language and even flipping hair.
Common Courtesy and Good Faith Beginnings
Here're some good rules for the road when you're jumping back into the world of dating:
- Be honest about your single status and emotional availability. It's not nice to fib about your single status or intentions. Don't hurt innocent women or men who're emotionally honest and vulnerable. Remember, fibbing about your current status makes you a lowly coward. Lying about your emotional availability makes you a candidate for therapy.
- Don't make up a lame excuse about why you're not going to follow up after a first date. Use common decency and manners. If you meet someone and don't want to continue seeing them, simply pick up the phone and say it was a pleasure to meet them, but you'd like to remain friends. Be honest and straightforward. It's good manners, good character and the other person will certainly appreciate your honesty.
- Conversely, don't take a refusal to continue personally. Not everyone in the world's supposed to be attracted to you - and vice versa. Never sulk. And for goodness sake, don't say anything nasty to someone who said they weren't interested in you. Simply, move on, be gracious about it and look forward to finding your special someone.
- Don't assume who'll pay for what. The tradition has been the man always pays for the woman. But, traditions are changing and some men are starting to feel taken advantage of. This is especially true if there's never any reciprocity, or if the dinners and outings are extremely expensive. Women and men should discuss cost sharing before going out.
- Don't whisper promises and endearments, and then disappear. If you hit it off, great. Don't be too romantic and promise the moon, because each of us has feelings that can get hurt. Be honest, and be careful about what you say, when you say it and how you say it. Always remember: Would you want someone acting and talking to you like you're talking to them?
Helping Someone Find Their Perfect Match
The great thing about friends and family is they sincerely have your best interest at heart. They honestly believe they can help you find your perfect match. If you are interested in helping a friend or family member in their pursuit of love, use these tips:
- Do you know for a fact your friend/family member is interested and open when meeting someone new? It's important to have a candid conversation of how your friend/family member will either welcome or put off a potential perfect match. You should know in advance the openness and vulnerability of the person, and their interest in meeting someone new. Don't project your need to see them in a relationship onto them.
- Is your friend/family member interested in learning more about this new person? Share information about this new person. Then listen to learn if your friend is asking questions out of sincere interest, or simply because they don't want to hurt your feelings…especially if they're entirely disinterested.
- First impressions are important, but don't oversell the other person. Don't oversell your friend/family member to each other. You should also never be quick to minimize your friend. Be realistic and don't expect all chemistry to be immediate and strong.
- Let the parties meet and then get out of the way so nature can take its course! If things don't work out, that's fine. At least you tried to help.