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Ask Dr. Pepper Schwartz

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Have a love or relationship situation you can't figure out?
Here, Dr. Schwartz shares her prudent and sensible ideas.

Dr. Pepper Schwartz Relationship Expert PerfectMatch.com
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Question
I was married for 12 years. Now at 35-years-old, going out again is something new for me. I've found men seem to be jealous of the time I spend working and would instead want someone that was self-sufficient. Am I misreading them?
Dr. Schwatz's Answer
Perhaps not. On the one hand, men do like a woman who is self-reliant. They don’t usually feel comfortable with a woman who’s needy and can’t fend for herself most of the time. On the other hand, they want a companion who’ll fit into their life and if they have enough money to support the two of you, they’ll push towards having your schedule fit into theirs, rather than vice versa.
This is a hard one to figure out. You need to make a living, but you also need your independence. You also want to please a man you’re truly interested in. I suggest if you meet someone you really become interested in, you talk in great length about this push-pull situation. Ask them how they feel about it and what they think a good relationship takes in terms of time together. If someone is open and willing to communicate, you can see where the stresses will be. You’ll then figure out if there’s a way to accommodate his needs, without sacrificing your own life.
Over time, you will find a man who will appreciate the fact you have work you like and money of your own. Most of all, he has to know you will love him completely and will make time for him.

Have a love or relationship situation you can't figure out? Join PerfectMatch and ask Dr. Schwatz for help.
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