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Ask Dr. Pepper Schwartz
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Have a love or relationship situation you can't figure out?
Here, Dr. Schwartz shares her prudent and sensible ideas.
Dr. Pepper Schwartz
Relationship Expert PerfectMatch.com
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Question
This online stuff is something very new to me, to find my soul mate. I've high moral values and am Christian. I travel a lot. I finally shared my website with a member, as he mentioned he'd like to know me more. He wants us to communicate with our private e-mails and instant messaging. In order to get to know me more, he said he might want to join my tours with his mom. I mentioned it might be too early to do so.
Dr. Schwatz's Answer
I absolutely agree. I'm always suspicious of people who say they want to go on trips with someone, or meet your mom or similar things of this nature when they haven't even met you!
The vast majority of people on the our site are good people. Still, we experience some scammers, as does every site, and we have to deal with them! They're looking for someone trusting and moral who believes others behave the same way. I think you need to get to know this guy. Have coffee with him in a very public place and see what he's like. Get some background information on him and find out if it's true. Make sure he's what he seems to be before you make any more contact. Then get to know him slowly without giving him an address or telephone number.
If he turns out to be trustworthy and a soul mate, great. But you need time, and a little bit of your own detective work to make sure this guy really is who he seems to be. And most importantly, is up to your standards as a person.
The final suggestion: Never, ever give money to anyone you've met on the internet and who hasn't been a long-term friend. If someone asks for temporary help, beware - it's very likely to be a scammer. If this happens, please send us all the information you can and we'll check it immediately!
This guy may, of course, be quite honorable. But, take it slow. This is the only real way to protect yourself and to see who anyone really is.
Have a love or relationship situation you can't figure out? Join PerfectMatch and ask Dr. Schwatz for help.
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