Matchmaking > Love is...

What is Love?  By Dr. Pepper Schwartz


W.H. Auden called it, "...An intolerable neural itch...". Less cynical poets have agreed it's, "...The reason for living...". So, what is love?

For some: It's an obsessive need for one individual above all others; a craving to be with a specific individual; a respect and devotion inspired by no other person; a heart-pumping, breath-altering overall body sensation when this person walks in the room; or maybe a knowledge you would gladly give up just about anything (maybe everything?) to keep this person safe and happy.

For others: It's the person you want to hold hands with; raise a family with; hug when you first see them; cuddle with them on a couch; or just smile when you think of growing old together. In other words, love not only means different things to different people, its physical and emotional manifestations are different, too.

Most people who've been in love will agree on two things: It's an extremely welcome emotion, and a major addition to personal happiness. Unfortunately, love may not last, and that's where (PerfectMatch) comes into play to assist those looking. Love is sweet enough so if it's lost, there's the compulsion to search again, which is one of the differentiating and great tools PerfectMatch embraces and offers its members.

Love's so precious, even if a painful loss occurs, most people would agree with Alfred Lord Tennyson who said, "…'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all…". Amen.

Being in love, and loved equally in return, is magical. There's really nothing like it. It's one of the reasons we celebrate love on February 14th - and motivate ourselves to go find it when we don't have it. Yes, Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday. However, it taps into the need, the hope we have of finding someone who is worthy of the word and all it encompasses.

Love's unique in the respect we want to find someone who loves us, but we also want to find someone to give love to. Love, after all, isn't a selfish emotion. When we really love someone, we want to demonstrate our feelings. We want to make the life of the person we love infinitely better. Love, in fact, brings out our most generous and caring instincts.

This is the distinguishing factor between love and lust. When we love someone, we think about their welfare. When we lust for someone, we generally only think of our need for them. Lust is a more primitive instinct. Love is the foundation of our lives and society in general.

Love enables us, makes us nicer, happier and more grateful. I happen to like the idea February is celebrated as the "love" month. It's a good reason for us to re-motivate ourselves to find a special person to share our life with. We need to bring love back into our soul - and someone else's - when it's missing.

I'm on the side of the romantic poets, not the cynical ones. What in the world is better than love? Sharing all those beautiful intangibles with someone else makes life worthwhile!

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