Singles & Seasons
Dating Advice for Singles Over 40
Naturally, I believe in online relationships. You can meet people you should have met, but whose paths you would never have crossed. You can get information on perfect strangers which might take you weeks, maybe months, to accumulate, just by reading a profile and looking at PerfectMatch.com's Duet® Analysis Profile, a revolutionary 360º presentation of its members.
Still, as we all know, there are a few things learned face to face, which is why we all worry about what will happen at the first meeting. The coffee, drink, walk, etc., finally comes, usually after weeks of exchanging emails and phone calls. And then…it is often too quickly and abruptly over. I think that's a flaw in the way a lot of people use the system.
Now, I understand why it's abruptly ended if someone has misrepresented themselves. Perhaps they said they were weight and height proportional, when in reality, they are 75 pounds heavier than promised. Or, perhaps they are 20 years older or younger than they looked in their photo, and you wanted someone the age they presented rather than the age they turned out to be. I understand why this might be the end of story.
But, what if they are only 10 pounds heavier, chattier than you expected, or less successful than you had hoped. Or maybe, they are everything they said they were, but there just wasn't a "spark" between you. In this case, I'd say don't be so hasty! Ever met someone at a party or been introduced somewhere, and felt nothing? Then, over time, you've gotten to know this person and suddenly, one day you realize you are developing a soft spot in your heart for them. You notice your interest perks up when they walk into the room. Haven't you ever surprised yourself about someone and come to like them over time rather than immediately?
Don't You Need a Playmate?
No, I'm not referring to the Playboy kind with a bunny tail. And, I don't mean a playmate like your best friend in third grade. I mean someone to DO things with, starting this summer! Someone with whom you can go to concerts, swim, travel and/or just talk over the day's event over a terrific glass of wine. This playmate is someone who can help start your collective memories and be a real joy in your life.
I think with all the earnest and serious talk about finding a soul mate, we sometimes forget one of the most important things we can do for ourselves - play, widely defined, of course. Play is the valuable time-off we have to explore life and its greatness. It's the adventure which quickens our heartbeat, the movie which makes us think what life is about or the exploration of a new store with quirky or fabulous things. While we may love our work - in some cases tolerate it - it's rarely lighthearted. Everything counts, and while you can have fun at work, it's rarely carefree.
Being carefree, even if it's only for a few hours or on a vacation, is a gift we should embrace. It's the feeling we get when we're enveloped by awe on a clear night when the stars seem like they're strung like lights, the total pleasure of being in the moment, trying to navigate white water or just closing our eyes on the beach, with the sun baking us and the water cooling us off.
Recent Dating Polls
Do men and women experience a similar “mid-life” crisis?
|Yes. We all hit the wall around 50!|
|No. It doesn't seem to apply to women as much.|
|No. Women are overtaking men in this department.|