Home Alone for the Holidays?

By Dr. Pepper Schwartz

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'Tis the season to be jolly. Yes, it's the holiday portion of the year, again. If you haven't been utilizing the amazing PerfectMatch.com™ prior to the holidays and you're still single, it's easy to get into a pity-me state. It starts with a few sniffles at Thanksgiving, and culminates into a full fledged wail on New Year's Eve. In anticipation of all the happy and romantic messages in the media, it's hard to know what to do about the holidays. Should you try dating just anyone, or try to ignore the holiday romance and spend lonely nights in front of the television, watching reruns. It's easy to feel bad if you think your alternatives are dead-end dates or repetitive dates with your television. Every romantic movie or ad beckons you be part of a couple, and all the twinkling lights and music make it hard not to want to find true love.

Well, this could be depressing, but it's important to remember everything this time of year is too simplified. None of the ads show the happy couple squabbling over the mounting debt they're accumulating, or the fact one of them snores like an elephant and keeps the other person up all night. Everything is romanticized, and when you're single, it's hard to remember being a member of a couple has its' own challenges.

This is the reason you don't want to choose dead-end dates, with people who possess little chance of being a match for the long run. And, the alternative shouldn't be sitting down with a six pack of beer. The best answer would have been joining the innovative PerfectMatch.com™ to find a serious, long-lasting relationship. A secondary answer is to take the time to do some serious mixing, thinking and planning on your own behalf. This is not only for the upcoming holidays, but for next year. Desperation is neither attractive nor useful, so you need to put yourself out there, but without a due date. Resolve to make this a season to have fun. Spruce yourself up into a more self aware and attractive person. To assist you, here're a couple of ideas to think about:

Reconnect with friends for the holidays.

The holiday season is full of great things to do, and you don't need a date to do them. If you want to go to plays, holiday spectacles, office parties, whatever-you can enjoy them with a friend. Hanging out with a good friend, having interesting talks and not missing great entertainment is a gift to share with the people you enjoy being with the most.

Consider going to parties and events alone. Singles find other singles quicker than when you are with a date or a group.

There is NO TIME better than the holidays for meeting new people, networking and all around friendliness. People who might not talk to each other at ordinary cocktail parties are full of cheer, and a whole lot likelier to be open and welcoming. If you want to meet people, think about braving a party invitation all by yourself. You are highly likely to meet people you don't know and some of them are going to be single. Scan the room, and when you feel the possibility of connection with someone you are looking at, follow it up and say hello. If the other person is drawn to you, they will appreciate being approached. Just admit they looked great, or interesting, or both, and see if they want to continue talking. You'll be surprised…most people will!

Work on keeping your spirits high and happy. Being happy is part of being attractive.

Dress up, look your best and assume every time you go out, your perfect match could be just one doorbell away. "Have a great time" seems like an obvious piece of advice. However, less obvious is the fact if you really are having a great time, your smile will be brighter, your laugh warmer and your aura more enticing. Happiness is attractive. Research shows people are literally drawn to others who are enjoying themselves and show it. If your face is drawn or worried, if you are defensive or unwelcoming in any way, people will avoid you. Do the opposite, and you will find yourself meeting new people everywhere you go.

Plan something for the big nights.

The easiest route and the one of least resistance is resigning yourself to being alone on Christmas Eve or New Year 's Eve. Stop! You can do better. Plan a poker party with close friends, a girl's night out, a bowling contest with a group of close friends or a small dinner party…just to name a few. You may pretend nights like New Year's Eve have no significance. But often, when this night comes around, you'll wish you had something going on which makes you happy. So do it. It's easy to arrange and you'll enjoy it.

Now, if in the course of doing something like above, you find the person of your dreams, great. However, if you don't, make a New Year's resolution: get back to really dedicating yourself to finding your one and only on PerfectMatch.com™. You really can find someone here who'll be just right for you…and certainly in time for next year's festivities!