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Take a Risk - Try Something New!
5 Steps to Love


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You've heard the old saying, "If it's not broke, don't fix it". Well, the opposite of that is , if it's not working, try something else! Suffice it to say, that if you are reading this and not seated next to the love of your life-it's time to try something else!

The first part of 2011 is the perfect month for revamping your life. It's the beginning of a new year and therefore-by definition-whatever mistakes you made happened a year ago! You can start out with an unblemished record-and a new look on life.

Here's are five important changes you might consider to guarantee that this will be the year you find true love

1. Change Your Picture - Change Your Look

If you have had a picture posted that has not gotten you a number of approaches, change it! Have a friend, or professional photographer, take a picture of you smiling, happy, maybe doing something you love (fishing, playing an instrument, teaching, cooking, etc). Show your interests rather than just tell about them. Look welcoming, friendly, kind-or perhaps, intriguing! Get rid of the bland , fuzzy or dimly lit photo. Do not look intimidating. Do not look desperately sexy. Show the best of who you are by putting a lot of thought into the picture you post ( and by all means have a friend review it and say it's the right picture to put up.)

2. Change What You Say About Yourself

Perhaps you've noticed that your lists of books you like, beaches you walk, and music you like has not really gotten you any impassioned emails. That's because these kinds of lists just don't say enough about someone to draw immediate interest. Even if you've gotten lots of emails, your profile isn't working for you unless you get the right kind of people contacting you- or responding to your overtures. If you are not meeting who you want to meet, scrub your whole profile and pay particular attention to how you describe yourself "in your own words". Write from the heart - and write about things that have real meaning for you. If you are a real extrovert looking for an extrovert- look up some of the people who describe themselves as extroverts on the Duet Profiler-and see what they say that makes you want to meet them. Take your cue from the profiles that are personal, specific and make you feel like you want to know this person. Then apply the same technique to your newly remodeled profile. ( and of course, have a friend check it and make sure it's wonderful).

3. Change the way you approach someone

Maybe you look great and your profile is terrific - but it all goes away on the first exchange of emails. Have a friend watch and evaluate how you contact someone. Is it too breezy? Too impersonal? Too personal? Too generic? Look at the way you've emailed people and just do it differently. Make sure you say just enough- and not too much- about yourself. Think more deeply about why you think the two of you might enjoy meeting each other-and see if you can write something that shows insight . (For example, were they funny? Are you? If so, can you write something witty or at least appreciative of their wry sense of humor..) Whatever approaches you make, make sure they are ones you haven't tried before!

4. Change who you approach

We are not always the best judge of who will want us. If you've only gone after a certain kind of person- see if you can widen and change your parameters. If you have gone for people ten years younger than you, try someone only five years younger, your own age- or maybe older. If you never tried meeting someone who didn't post a picture- try someone who is more of a mystery- they will eventually send you a picture if you request it. ( and they probably are getting fewer emails and might review yours a little more closely than people who are flooded with emails will do). Change almost everything and see if you can find excellence where you least expect it- vary education, income, profession, race, religion , region, you name it. Sometimes a little imagination and risk taking can have a big payoff.

5. Give someone a better chance to Impress YOU.

I am firmly convinced that too many people stop a relationship way before they know if it had any real promise. I know, everyone believes that they "know" if there is any chance at all within ten minutes of talking to someone-but I'm not so sure. I know people who made snap judgments about someone only to meet them later in a different situation- and realize they had made the wrong decision. It's true loathing at first sight is unlikely to begin the greatest romance of all time-but sometimes people need a little time to unfold, get over being nervous or maybe they just had a bad day. Try giving someone a chance who has sent you an IceBreaker or perhaps has Liked! Your profile - and opportunity to get to know you and/or actually seeing someone who seems nice but not fabulous more than once-you might well discover the fabulous part of them becomes apparent over time.

Life is short - Being in Love is Fabulous!

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