A New Beginning
By Dr. Pepper Schwartz
Often, we use New Year's Day to launch a new beginning; diet, exercise, fix up the house, etc. However, I think it's necessary to begin anew more than once a year. I think it's particularly true concerning love and relationships.
With the ever increasingly fast pace of today's world and workplace, it's too easy to get in a rut and just replicate old mistakes. This is absolutely true when it comes to your relationship. For example, let's say you go for a specific type of woman or man. You're attracted to "high maintenance" types: They have a high opinion of themselves (usually not shared by others); they tend to be quick to take offense (you are more often wrong then right); have a snappy temper (you tiptoe around them on certain subjects); and they often complain about a lack of attention (you've thought of carrying a full length mirror but haven't implemented that idea yet). They blame you for being selfish (damned if you do, damned if you don't), even though they hardly ever consider you when they're making plans (you're left in the dust or clutching at air as they whisk away). They find fault with most people and experiences (that full length mirror idea might work) and it's easy for them to slide into a foul mood (not unlike a light switch). On the plus side (and often in public), they may be very good looking, charming and fun. And, perhaps the last two little tidbits that keep them constantly in demand: Well off and well connected.
Perhaps you've been with this kind of person more than once. You've fallen deeply in love thinking this one was the real one, but have been badly hurt when they've dumped you. Or, almost worse, they've become so difficult, you just have to leave for your own sanity. During the aftermath of pain and sadness, you swear you'll never go near this kind of person again. But suddenly you're at a party, you turn around and there she or he stands. And without much fanfare or forethought, the whole rotten drama rolls into motion and is played out again.
Does this personality trap ring true for you (and obviously, it might not be the particular person described above)? If you're stuck on a type of person who never works out for you, then you're a prime candidate for a new beginning. New beginnings don't just mean a new person. It means a new and "different kind" of person.
Again, using our "high maintenance" example from above, how about someone who thinks of other people first? They're sincere about their thanks for the friends they have. They laugh just as hard at themselves as they do others. They show you off in public to their friends and family. They happily ask your opinion and often use your suggestions in the plans. They're not afraid to accept blame for something that goes wrong. And, you like their mood and sense of humor; they comfort you and the laughter is great. Now, if this person happens to be nice looking, is passionate about their work and you enjoy all of your dates, kudos to you!
In other words, to enjoy the loving and magical unity of a long-lasting relationship, you very well might have to make major changes in your choice of partner. You have to open up your criteria for finding someone to share your life with. You have to understand the person's personality characteristics that attract you, and ensure they're not going to end up hurting you, too. You have to discard the old search patterns and put in some new ones.
In essence, you need a true "new beginning". If you don't consider changing your past, you might be destined to go in and out of tumultuous relationships which will never give you the love and support you want. I know; it's not easy to shake off a life-long template you've used for those you admire and fall in love with. But, it's possible to change some important details, minimize some characteristics, and avoid certain personalities that are toxic to you.
One of the features unique to PerfectMatch.com is their ability to allow you to search on your own while we're finding matches for you. Utilize PerfectMatch.com's revolutionary Duet® Total Compatibility System, their cutting-edge tools and move forward in a positive manner. Why not start a new beginning…today! You'll soon realize there're so many wonderful people out there you never considered before…waiting to give you a lifetime of happiness and a most memorable new beginning you'll always cherish!
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